For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize