I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
