I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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