my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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