Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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