I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Where is the hickey?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
