Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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