Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize