Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.

(972): View more from Texas

I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises

Fav 7 2446 906
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(469): View more from Texas

She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.

Fav 8 2031 822
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(260): View more from Indiana

...oh my god that's like anal suicide

(1-260): View more from Indiana

I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

Fav 9 929 2074
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(812): View more from Indiana

You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.

Fav 2 1910 793
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(410): View more from Maryland

Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us

Fav 0 71 10
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(914): View more from New York

How can i make it up 2 u?

(347): View more from New York

DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.

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