1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
they're like a gay fantastic four
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
