So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
