I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
