im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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