i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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