Jerry, you need to find god
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
