Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
