Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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