found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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