i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
