I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
