I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize