Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
