I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
