I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
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I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
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She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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