I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
