I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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