Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
