this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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