So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
