Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize