Small penises have feelings too.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
