I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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