Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize