can we get nightvision for the apartment?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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