Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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