gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize