In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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