I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
