i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
