Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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