He is such a slut. More and more my type.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
