Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
