Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
