I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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