when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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