No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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