hotel room ftw
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
