I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
