Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize