remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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