only you would photoshop your dick
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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