she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
