Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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