i already hear my dad disowning me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
