Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
