I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
