??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
