We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
