a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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