WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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