no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Michael Bay diarrhea
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
