We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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