dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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