Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize