I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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