Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
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masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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