my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i have two assholes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
