So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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