i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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