So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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