she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
