Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
