Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
