You're my little dorito
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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