I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
